Don’t mind the title…I’ve been up for four hours and am messaging three friends…who sleeps anymore right?  Haha!

Recently I had a conversation with a buddy of mine that somewhat amused me.  His Christmas revolved around a dramatic breakup, so he wasn’t really having a jolly season this year.

After chit chat here and there he just put down his drink and looked hard at me.  “Who’s your ideal woman?”

I didn’t quite understand his question.  So he repeated it slower.  I heard the question well the first time, but I repeated that I didn’t understand, but then I offered “…one who will put up with me!”

It was a half joke…but very serious one too.  You learn hard oftentimes as a military person that it’s not easy to find someone to “put up” with not only you, but…the life.  And if you are someone that has a Warrior personality and you love that way of life, even when you’re no longer in uniform that can still pose challenges.  I’ve got to learn from mistakes, but thankfully there was also an enormous ship that held nearly 300 people and you got to learn from some of their mistakes too.  That said, the two most awesome marriages I’ve seen so far…both of my buddies are in the Navy.  So I know it works, and can work well.  But I digress…

So, he offered up hints, naming off people we knew and also some celebrities.  Basically, the would you like this person or that…  And use that as a baseline for who we seek.

What?!?

I’m sorry, I didn’t know you could custom make women now.  Who came up with that factory?  This guy?

I believed my buddy was looking at it totally wrong.  I told him if I ever did that, unless I actually met that person…there’d be nothing in my life.  I told him every person, and this can be anything…friendship, teammate, whatever as well…I look at the collective sum of that person.  I don’t see a real possible way to categorize people in that manner.  There were plenty of awesome and worthless people in my division.  Same at work.  I can go to a location and be friends with just one person there and the rest I’ve judged idiots.

To make sure, I took a jog through memory lane.  In this area of life, my road has been cautious so there have been a smaller pool of experience to base on, but I also notice very little drama.  Each person not too similar to people before or after.  I reviewed other friendships and work relationships.  Same conclusion as before…so at least it was working for me.

My buddy started drinking again…he said I was hurting his head.  Oh well, you wanted to know, right?

He still wasn’t satisfied, I could tell.  He turned to me, ready to ask another question.  I was sure I knew what he was about to as so I quickly thought and came up with the answer just as he opened his mouth.

“So is there anyone kinda famous that you like the collective sum of who they are?”

I knew it.  My answer was made and it didn’t take but half a second for me to reply.

“Gina Carano!“  Duh, lol.

That conversation amused me because I know he’s not the only one that thinks that way, and in closing I told him he needs to look himself in the mirror and think differently before he goes out looking for someone else.

———-

On another note, as I said…I’ve been awake.  Dreams that force me awake are slowly returning.  No…it’s not those dreams.  I’m trying to figure them out.  Almost all my dreams slip from memory when I awaken.  But these dreams are just like the others before, they play out and cause my mind to react strongly to them…like they laser etch themselves into my mind and in the shock and electric feeling, I’m jolted awake with those scenes and images glowing brightly.  I remember them for weeks, and in my down time try to ponder the meaning.

I do think they hold a message.  Of what, I’m not sure.  The biggest dream I had of last year, I could decipher that and I have lived my life accordingly.  The past couple of weeks I’d have dreams like this once a week…but they’re random as far as I’m concerned.  Oh well, at least it’s not a weekday today!

———-

It was my M&P’s birthday a few days ago, gotta ring it out…probably do that today!  I guess the sun’s almost up now…probably go hit a run before I go out.

Okay…I’m sure many of you know.  What is Watchmen?!?  This was a trailer that I saw when Christine and I went to see The Dark Knight.

What the emo super heroes, with their emo spaceship submarine…

…and Sin…

Christian Bale in a Terminator movie?  Huh…

November 7 is SO far away, as I wait for the next Bond movie to show up…

The Dark Knight is an excellent movie and very much how Batman should be.  I know, I grew up watching Batman and Robin defeat villains with giant inserted action dialog filling the screen with every punch and kick.  Not how it was in the comics, but fun nonetheless.

My tastes went up when Michael Keaton showed up as Batman…then Batman faded as it got dumber with people like George Clooney.

Then Christopher Nolan decides his take on Batman, and I loved it.

This one was even better in every way…

…and it connected with me as it was two movies for me.  It was Batman, the movie of the Batman.  It was also Batman as a metaphor, representing the struggles, the warm victories and the screeching tragedies in life of people doing the right thing.

Specifically those who operate in the Warrior world.

There was plenty of that, kind of fused in an old schoolish way of morality thinking that was seen in shows and movies long ago.  Have you noticed how, when looking at the movie as Batman being the metaphor, why is it that those that are rising and trying to do the right thing, not trying to be a hero…  Why are we quiet, behind a mask, and more or less running from the weaker society?

I only see this through my eyes because that’s the way I am…and that’s the parallel dimensional story that I read from viewing the movie.  Because of that and a lot of the masses are reading this with a totally different view, I’m not going to really amplify much more…but figured I’d have that out.

Good movie.

I also decided to give a try on that Five Guys Burgers again in the Galleria.  I went there about a week ago on my own to give a try.  All this hype and stuff.

They use peanut oil!

…so does Chick-Fil-A.

Their hamburger’s are never frozen!

…so does Lone Star Wings.

If this is the selling point…  But I’m not hear for a challenge on their restaurant…I just want a good burger!

But just a cursory glance of the I Love Me articles on the wall and what Tony was telling me they were making their selling points, if this is what the rest of the country thinks is the bestest of burgers ever…  I guess the United States doesn’t really know about good burgers.

The menu is pretty straightforward.  There are no combo meals.  You either get a normal burger (two patties), or a junior/small burger (one patty).  They have various toppings you can add on and the toppings are free.  While this is not legendary, their options and the whole add what you want vs take out what normally goes on, I find this a pleasant plus.

You can also have hot dogs of various styles, regular or large fries, regular or large drink.  So I went for a bacon cheeseburger, grilled onions, grilled mushrooms and some A-1 sauce.  In a slight vague semblance of Whataburgers A-1 Thick and Hearty, which I absolutely love.

I figured regular fries, didn’t really want many fries and I remember Tony talking about an abundance of fries.  Then a regular drink…they have free refills, why pay extra?

Right off the bat, didn’t like the sweet tea.  And it wasn’t like it wasn’t sweet enough, I can understand that.  But it’s like it was “trying” to be sweet.  It just had a weird flavor to it.

Then I got my order.  A paper bag that was becoming spotted with grease.  That was a good sign…then I wondered if that was the burger or the fries?

Sit down, open the bag and…

…it was the fries.  All I saw below was fries, and some white styrofoam.

The styrofoam cup is about the size of styrofoam cups you find for picnics or what not.  It’l like they placed my burger in the bag, placed the cup in the bag, grabbed a shovel, scooped up some fries and just poured it all in the bag, where it naturally filled the cup.

The fries…are okay.  I don’t care what city and state they came from, what farm they came from and how they were cooked.  But they were good enough.

On to the burger.  The burger was very good.  The strong point for me, aside from “building” it your way via the toppings, is the bacon.  The bacon is cooked well at this place.  While I would’ve liked smoked bacon, this was great as well.

My verdict is that Five Guys is a good burger place, definitely a place to go to eat every now and then with friends or by yourself.  The best burger?  No.  I know a couple of local places here that have them beat.

So this time Christine tried it and I tried it again, same order for me.

Being smart, just ordered one cup of fries.  Because two burgers were in the bag, it appears our fries weren’t as much…well that was good anyways.  They were better than last time.

After trying to sip at the sweet tea, I gave up and poured me some Coke.

The burger was very good again.  Though Christine’s burger had some onions in there and she doesn’t like them (meaning, she never asked for onions), and she also had A1 sauce though it was a light coating on her burger.

Generally, the verdict remains.

I did stack it up against my Thick and Hearty.  So what do I think?  I don’t think this burger beats Whataburger, nor do I think the other way around.  Their both done in different ways and I like them for the strengths that they have.

That said, Five Guys is a pretty good hamburger place to go in Dallas, particularly after you’ve made an idiot of yourself in the ice rink, or you’re a lady bending over in the locker room and some guy with a camcorder is at the floor above video taping you…and proceeds to tape you, your child and your husband/new boyfriend as all three of you skate happily.

I figured if I post this now, it will jump start the other two posts that have been queued up that should’ve been posted by now, but was overtaken by events pertaining to some criminal events last week.

I believe the hype! We are running out of oil! We need to grab those compact fluorescent lightbulbs, build windmills in our backyards and install solar panels on our roof! We are running out of oil.

Sure, I previously scoffed…but it really takes personal suffering for some people to fully grasp the enormity of the problem, this includes me.

So what was my turning point? It was the test firing of my new Beretta handgun. A few hundred rounds were put through to ensure that everything was in order. Firing it was very familiar…it should be, it’s was an issue handgun for me for about four years.

As the round counts got higher I started having problems. My slide was not locking back at the last round fired. I decided it was just one magazine…till the slide failed to lock on the other magazine.

Later on I finally disassembled the mags and peered inside before cleaning. Did I mention I had to jab the followers out of the magazine with a pencil eraser for them to come out? Loading was not a problem, unloading I saw bullets getting hung up. A look inside the magazine body showed some traces of oil around the bottom third of the magazine walls…the rest of the magazine walls were bone dry. Surely, Beretta was planning ahead and resorted to only using half a drop of oil to lube the inside of their mags…this would allow them to manufacture more mags and conserve for the oil crisis. Duh! When you’re a big manufacturer like Beretta, you are in tune with the reality of the world!

Solar power it is!

Lol, all joke aside (yes, it’s a joke…don’t give me your stupid CFL lightbulbs, I’ll make you eat it!)…the handgun is nice and familiar. Next weekend we’ll see if my lube remedy fixes the problem.

When I finally got to hold my new pistol for the first time, I was swept with quite some emotion and memories. One of the more prominent things I did in the Navy was watchstanding. That has always had both its great satisfactions and fits of rage. I wasn’t merely standing out there with a gun. I was always evaluating my performance, looking for better positions and equipment, those hours would be mixed in with several moments of brainstorming trying to look at myself from different perspectives and locations. Minimizing vulnerabilities, maximizing angles…then more soul-searching thoughts, many a times I was wondering what I was still doing on the ship and why was I fighting what seemed to be an impossible uphill battle sometimes.

This is the only weapon I currently have that has brought all the memories and emotions back to the present. Well, good thing this isn’t really a carry gun…matter of fact it’ll be last resort as far as that role! More on why I bought it in the first place later…though I will leave with a quote I read from someone I respected (I was in the process of getting the pistol when I saw this, so this wasn’t what convinced me)…”My feeling on the M9 is this: it is currently the standard issue military sidearm and as such should be mastered by all serious firearms trainers, servicemen, and fighting age Americans…period.”

Kind of on topic, though I’ve been bouncing everywhere so far on this post, is the “why” as far as my time in service. I thought it was interesting, because I had a small conversation with a friend of mine regarding that. No names for now because she may be reading this and I’m only going to take a snippet of what she said, which without heavily rewording it or stringing it to a fuller conversation, will make her sound pretty ignorant. That wasn’t the case…but here goes.

We already know I have friends in multiple flavors and welcome virtually all talk and opinions until they start getting pretty extreme. The way I was raised as I child to the way I was “raised” as a Sailor has made me who I am, along with looking at my experiences throughout those years in my life…all of that has shaped me.

My friend understood that I made the choice as far as my service and couldn’t understand why. She didn’t understand why guys like me were willing to fight, but respected my answer when I replied that I love the country and feel a duty to its people to serve them. She said she couldn’t serve, she could barely take out the trash! Ha ha… But was glad since she needed people like me to take the steps forward.

Told you that sounded shallow…but it isn’t, I have omitted a significant amount of the conversation because it broaches a topic that I am not going to make public, at least at this time.

Getting my handgun the day before, now the rest of the day I had that conversation in my head. It isn’t the first time that I have been asked of my decision to be a Sailor, nor will it be my last. I’ve been asked multiple times from multiple people. I have various answers and depending on the day, my mood and who I’m talking to I give out one of those aspects.

I guess I’ll put some down for the record.

I had decided in 4th grade that I was going to be in the military, and that decision never changed up until I reported into boot camp. I knew I wanted to help people, but in typical Filipino train of thought…those adults in my life thought it my way to go as a doctor, lawyer, airline pilot or some other sort of uber profession. That never clicked with me. Destruction and war did…I know that makes me sound like a psycho, though those that know me know I’m not a psycho…those that are my friends know that I am…I think everyone knows what I mean by this sentence, lol! If not, don’t misconstrue.

I wanted to be a fighter pilot in the US Air Force…I felt I could help by taking down the bad guys. You know, typical boy thoughts and all…well at least back then, when we had GI Joe and more manly type stuff out there. Not this Sponge Pants and Rocky Montana shows, or whatever they’re called…

At about the same time I was concerned I wouldn’t be able to fly because of my poor vision, I became aware of terrorism. Somewhere, I came across a documentary of the events that happened in Munich and that absolutely crushed my heart. I was still an honor kind of guy, and while I understood the unconventional tactics of ninjitsu to an entusiast degree, it didn’t seem to be the low blow type attacks that I saw in that show. Now here’s a trivia tidbit, because I wasn’t very well versed in the whole world and all…I had no clue the origin of the terrorists, so it was several years before I ever connected terrorism with the almost norm of the Middle East as our current events play out.

Then there was the first World Trade Center bombing, and Oklahoma City. I didn’t follow what happened in New York, but followed intently Oklahoma City as that actually stopped my Algebra class in high school as we watched the aftermath on TV.

All that was seen was a crater and shredded remains of a building. People were asking questions in class…without blinking an eye, I remember telling them simply it was a vehicle bomb and some other specifics. They asked how did I know…I dunno, common sense? Turns out almost all that I surmised was true.

As high school progressed for me, I became more and more concerned about terrorism. I don’t know why…I wasn’t a big news nut, but I just had a feeling it was going to be prevalent. Try warning fellow high school classmates about terrorism in the 1990s…yeah, oh well…at least I was entertainment for some of my peers. At this time, I was aware of an Islamic extremist threat and viewed them as a growing threat…I just thought they were still smaller than the terrorists involved with OKC.

Times changed and with piloting out of the question (and not seeing a strategy that required aerial dogfighting), Navy SEAL it would be for me. It would be more fun to do FBI and find the domestic terrorists, but I couldn’t be swayed out of the thought of the military still. So off to the Navy it would be for me.

I didn’t do anything SEAL related mainly because I thought I still wasn’t ready, I wasn’t as fit as I should and I wanted something in electronics (this was one of those stereotypical Asian/Filipino things as well), and needed a fallback in case I didn’t make it through BUD/S.

As my fellow classmates new, I wanted to be an FC…and was very specific with my FC rating, either Tomahawk or anything Aegis. For some reason, I felt these would be important at the right time.

All throughout, I’m still doing my security/terrorism ranting and raving. This was back in 1998 and 1999…even in the Navy, nobody really cared about terrorism except the crap they read from the instruction book.

Even when I first reported on the Cole, just your typical slide shows here and there and your lessons…very disappointing. So what a twist of fate it would be that I would be on the ship when terrorists detonated their boat and killed 17 of my shipmates.

For my friend…the carrying of Chief Costelow while he was still alive only to find out he later died, along with 16 others…is more than enough reason for me to fight. If that wasn’t a good enough reason, September 11 followed eleven months later.

I abandoned my prospects for BUD/S, Naval Academy and any other thing that I was working on in the Navy. It became my life’s passion to stay on that ship and make sure nothing like that ever happened again. Putting aside six years of my life for my country and people, I put aside most anything else of my Navy career for the Cole and her past, present and future crew.

I think it showed, I ended up being a part of a lot of things concerning force protection on the Cole that normally isn’t handed to lowly third class petty officer radar techs. I wasn’t content on just standing there with a gun. I did not freeze in 30+ knot headwinds on the bridge while it was raining/snowing on sea and anchor.

In my normal job I tried to be better…I didn’t want some other watchstander telling me how my radar should be run or what I should be looking for. I wasn’t some uber golden knight, it was tough and tiring physically, emotionally and mentally. I’d been beat on plenty of times and plenty of times was calling it quits. I was ready to pull my “Cole Card” and just stomp off the ship, repeatedly over and over again, from Pascagoula to 2003. I never did, I stayed on her for the longest possible moment and I finally stepped off with a ship that was “All Secure” and left it to the rest.

Throughout my time in the Navy, I got to talk with numerous people as far as why we joined the Navy. Most of the time I kept my mouth shut, my response was starkly different from some of the more shallow and self-serving answers that I got. It is no wonder I looked at things a little differently. I’m not saying most everyone in the military joins for sucky reasons, but they are out there and they are still my fellow Americans in uniform, some do their job well in spite of their beliefs.

We have an obligation, as a government, to protect the people of the country. We can talk about government interests and all that, you are arguing with the wrong person…go write a letter to your President and Member of Congress for that. We take their guidance in a military, and sometimes political, viewpoint…setup the method for success and win. As a country, we are inherently good and try to spread that goodness throughout. Whether you believe in internationalism or isolationism, as well as all ranges in between, is your call. We’ve been deployed to kick butt as well as deployed to save and comfort, off our own shores to the furthest distance to the United States.

While I loved all the countries I visited and really got a kick out of the people I met and the friends I have made, this country is so much better for its diversity and the ability to hold that diversity together and is rather inspiring as a united people. Not united, that diversity becomes very fragmented and people shouldn’t lose sight on that.

It is a shame that I can talk to people and talk of the period of about 1900 as the greatest generation of this nation. A pity, the greatest generation award should continue to move in time. We should be the greatest generation, but let’s not fool ourselves.

Finally, I remember many times where I get asked, being a person in uniform, when will I quit fighting and go for peace. I’m not a big fighting person if I don’t have to, and I tell them to go and bug the otherside first…we’re more than willing to do the whole peace thing, believe me.

Violence isn’t the answer? Haven’t left the United States have you…in som places of the world, violence is the ONLY answer. Shouldn’t be our first resort…but we definitely shouldn’t kid ourselves.

I had gotten to visit my cousins and I’ve gotten to see the contrast in my way of growing up versus theirs. I’m not saying I couldn’t live in their shoes, but there’s a lot to appreciate. You want racism, I got Filipinos that blow me off when they realize I can only speak English.

I have every reason to be grateful to this country, to owe it at least six years of active service…a service that elapsed through an eventful time in history and one that I will never regret. It has brought out the best in me, as well as the worst…but that’s my yin yang balance. While it may not have been intended for it, it doesn’t matter to me. Being one that is with Glenn in the belief that you should question everything, I can stake a lot of my success in that. I didn’t let idiots on the ship step past me, otherwise things could’ve been plenty worse…no, I like to think I left the ship in a very sound status as far as security.
I am awarded with a newer appreciation and understanding of the real world, the training and responsibility of people and machinery that my friends at home can only shudder at the thought of me having control of, some little creature benefits for being in uniform…but ultimately also having some of the greatest friends anyone can ever have. Military friends are just in another league, even seeing a military person out in public nowadays who I never met before…it’s far more rewarding than a civilian.

Not saying civilian suck…but do not ever underestimate the camaraderie of those who have served together. It is a strong bond that will last longer and stronger than many other things that will fade in life and in time.

Here I am in Texas, doing somewhat the same thing. Keep the home safe, the ratio of sheep to sheepdog is more disproportionate here. Is there some things I wish I could’ve done better? You bet. To me, from the bombing on…my mission and guidance for my objectives and how best to serve has been heavily swayed to a personal level. I feel that in that aspect I probably didn’t do as well as I should. But overall I’m satisfied…I looked forward since childhood and tried to discern what type of person I was and how I could best channel those skills and that drive, and I think it turned out well in the end.

Eh, I guess it never is easy to really talk about what nurtures the drive to serve without some moderate digression…at least for me.

Random parting shot…graphic wise, that American Idol PS3 game is an utter disappointment! Paula would fit right at home as a cast in a Silent Hill game.

…to never pull of a joke like that again!

It happened on April 1st. Ramon mentioned how it was April First and that we should get someone good. I just rolled my eyes. April Fool’s jokes…pleah.

As we had our breakfast breaks I thought about it and figured why not. I pulled out my phone and more or less wrote the message that I had reenlisted the week prior and had received orders to ship out to training before being deployed overseas. Nothing really big, I thought. I scrolled through my phone book and sent it to a good number of my friends and hit “Send.” I thought nothing of it as I wrapped up my breakfast and went on to work.

Throughout the course of the day I got bombarded by message replies. Parties and get-togethers were already being arranged by some people. Some buddies up in VA were already messaging everyone else of my pending arrival. The word was out, Chris was back in uniform and ready to KATN.

Feverishly, I began letting everyone know that it was a joke. In no way did I ever envision that it would be bought so well. It was nuts. Even got a phone call from Michelle, and well I’m glad I wasn’t in Virginia!

Heather yesterday told me that I should’ve stuck with the joke and went to all the parties. Wow, my head was reeling just imagining how deep underwater I would be if I ever did that. I may be tough, but all the collective masses putting their heads together to plan a come back makes me shudder. Even Heather flicking her scissors in my general direction temporarily put me on alert!

However, I did get two people calling me out right away. Moni and Agnes came on my phone and didn’t buy it! Well, I don’t have any prizes, lol… But yeah, I think that will be the last April Fool’s joke I’ll make in a while, lol.

Well, maybe karma did come back to me. I dropped the ball big time…I missed a massive opportunity as far as some tactical gear goes. One of my buddies, always looking out for me, came across a piece of kit I was looking at getting and at a deal that was just simply too good to pass up. He shot me a line yesterday and let me know what the deal was. I agreed I’d call him before noon the following day and let him know if the deal would be a go. Of course, that night I decided I would go for it.

Have I ever mentioned my memory sucks? Good. Suffice to say, Christine let me know of my grave error later on and I let the deal of the year slip past my fingers. You can ask Christine, I was verbally punching my face just about all day today!

Before I realized my mistake, we were at the Dallas Auto Show. I went previously on Saturday as well and checked it out with John and his wife, but had a tight schedule so I only got to see some highlights with them. Today, I went with the intention of covering the entire show with some thoroughness. My initial impression of the show was positive, being probably the best one that I’ve been to, and this was my third year. Stay tuned for pics and a video detailing my adventure!

Interesting was the fact that the Mesquite Police had a recruiting area in the Dallas Auto Show this year. Pretty neat. MySpacers will get to see my new profile pic of the MPD Fembot Tricycle. I know…that’s not what it really is called.

My top fives from the auto show this year are the Nissan GT-R, Audi R8, Dodge Challenger, Cadillac XLR-V and Chevrolet Corvette ZR1. Concept nod goes to the Jeep Trailhawk.

Then, while it was already planned ahead of time, going to the shooting range just seemed to make sense to vent my frustrations of missing out on the deal of the year. Thinking there may have been the chance that everything works out, I saved some money and bought a mere hundred rounds of ammo. Christine did the same…after standing around for about five minutes while the counter person left. To most, Christine still doesn’t have that look of the desire to shoot guns, lol!

After my frustrations and the fact that it was mid-afternoon, decided not to bother getting rifle ammo…wouldn’t have time for that anyways.

So to the pistol range we went. As we setup, we once again found the day’s “mouthers.” These mouthers are the guys that seem to like to hear them talk and usually do not have sufficient substance to complement said talk. It’s not just the fact that they’re talking, but also what they’re talking about and how they’re talking. I’m a good veteran of hearing these crowds over the years. Navy people can probably get a good example of this. It’s called your local VBSS team. I’m not throwing everyone VBSS under the bus, but let’s just say that my time on the Cole that there were more fingers on my one hand than there were members of our VBSS team that I felt genuine enough that they were competent enough AND I didn’t have to worry about. Statistically though…yeah.

We figured a good medium was the 15 yard range and we setup there. Turns out that one of the mouthers was in the military. He wasn’t so bad, though. Once he got to shooting he wasn’t talking much. Nonetheless, his 7 yard group was over twice the size of Christine’s 15 yard group…and she lost our contest and had to buy me ice cream!

Well, we didn’t really care. He was quiet and I was just bored and looking around and he was close enough I could see his target. Eventually, though, a group of guys showed up next to us and setup for the 15 yard line. Okay, now these went past the category of mouthers and they were now civy-VBSS. Lots and lots of talk and lots of oh check out my Rock River AR with Larue Rail, TangoDown foregrip and ACOG. Blah blah blah blah blah. I couldn’t even hear myself yelling at ME for missing the deal of the year!

I already told Christine they were going to suck at shooting. And they did. One guy started firing some good groups until I saw the profile of a 1911 in my peripheral. Sure enough, he picked up either a Glock or a Ruger that they brought and I was able to stand by my statement. We had setup some tactical targets which would be more forgiving for Christine as I refined a few tips to her and watched her accuracy go up…but she still had to buy me ice cream!

Buy now, the civy-VBSS team posted a new target that had multiple two-inch diameter Shoot-N-C’s scattered throughout. They couldn’t even hit a six inch circle earlier…

Shots were fired as they fired at every part of the paper’s surface, every part except the two inch circles. Everytime a round would hit they would comment, “Good shooting!” It’s only good if you consistently do it, otherwise it’s dumb luck. Then they remarked at how hard it was…see comment about six-inch target above. Then they made the comment, “Yeah, this is where a laser would come in handy…next time I’ll bring my laser.”

No…this is where all of you get off the lane, move over to the THREE yard lane with your six-inch target and start there and move up to the five, seven and so forth distances. You don’t make some electronic gizmo make up for your crappy handiwork. Remember a while back when I went with a couple of coworkers over to George’s Area 51 and did some shooting? I was tagging targets with open sights three times the distance that Alpha Team was with their RDS systems, they should’ve been able to hit it faster, more accurately and more consistently. Oh well…

Needless to say, Christine and I got our entertainment as her group was about 1/4 the size of our loud-talking neighbors and I had the group the size of an orange…so Christine would get me ice cream.

Earlier in the week, I had the opportunity to attend another drill from an LE officer who even got the opportunity to help train the Iraqis in firearms proficiency. There were eight of us in various modes of tacticalness, I suppose. To my surprise I believe I was the only person with a stock weapon. We did some drills with the pistol, and it appears that as far as experience level I was at the bottom rung. I was definitely not catching up with the lingo, stories of training were shared but I really had none to give out except my Navy times and other somewhat informal events like this, and I think I’m the only person that hasn’t done some form of competition.

That said, it appears I was ranking up there…only trailing behind an active shooter in training, competition and drills. I forgot what he did though, but he showed up with his own bullets that he loaded…that’s about all I remember. We ended up doing four competitions in the end. That guy one two, then I came up won a prize myself. The final competition, our lone participant with a 1911 had the upper hand over us and won first prize, with me coming in second and receiving a prize as well.

I take that as an accomplishment. I don’t want to be stuck up on myself but I don’t know what I did that made me valuable…truly…while I was in the Navy. I know it’s a mix of heart, attitude, logic and all this other fuzzy principles. I know my time in CAP and Police Explorers honed it some…but I said honed, not taught.

In a world of books, Internet forums, sites, magazines and here there everywhere and the seemingly endless “my gun and gear is blacker than yours” (and for those that are not tactically fluent, but are racially fluent, this is meaning the black gun, black gear, etc…so don’t give me your speeches and moans). I was here, welcome to learn. I said nothing and expected lots, and I received lots. The guy running the show challenged me. Most of the guys to my left and right were not talkers, mouthers or VBSS clones. I don’t spend a lot of time sitting around learning techniques and gear flavors of the week. It was important to do that in the Navy because third-class Firecontrolmen don’t know a single thing about ATFP, I was the most clueless idiot and I should never have a gun. Yup.

But now I’m out. Not saying I’m staying static, I need to evolve. But the need to follow the fads and spend money on “research” isn’t there anymore. Want to know my research? My research is about twenty minutes a day, in my head, while I eat lunch. I figure out the solution…THEN I will find (not research) to find the means to accomplish my solution.

Is this close minded? Most likely. But I am a civilian right now and that’s no excuse, except that it seems everyone’s buying into everyone else’s info, ranging (very rarely) to a pot of gold all the way to complete crap. That’s because nobody wants to figure it out anymore, let’s just Google it or go to our favorite forum and listen to what the 11-year old airsofter who has convinced us that he is an 80-year veteran and served in all military branches, all SOF units and even created a few that are stationed in the underwater island of Atlantis.

I think the tactical world is unfortunately being a big fad. Here’s the thing…look hard at yourself. Any tactical conversation you have…are your answers to questions really and truly yours…or are you just reflecting someone else’s. Sure there’s a time to relay (as skill and experience would offer)…but you’re missing the point. Is it really your answer?

Lastly, Glenn has emphasized this as well. To really be honest with yourself, you have to question everything. EVERYTHING. So is this technique or concept, you’ve been able to reinforce it for years and you are dead set on it. There are a lot of things that I have realized and am sure of…I still constantly question and evaluate. For a year or two, I made the mistake and got a little lazy of answering questions with answers that came from someone else and stayed with principles with very little thought. I’ve been trying to change that…strangely, I am getting much better. Don’t have to agree with it…but if everyone agreed, then no one is thinking.

So for my website’s blog, I think I can add the category of “Seanism” to this blog. Many Cole Sailors around my time frame will know Sean, so that’s really all that needs to be said. While Christine was posing one of her random (grotesque) medical questions, I…in the spirit of Stu’s skits…came up with my own random (slightly) medical questions:

In those shooting video games, if you shot a pregnant terrorist in the abdomen/crotch, would you receive a “Headshot” score?

Every now and then I get something, even when it’s least expected. From time to time, whether it’s something small or a lot bigger…I always try to help out my fellow Brothers and Sisters in uniform. If you think that you’re covered for a deployment…well, maybe things have changed since I’ve been in. But even on a warship, where the urgency for combat is often significantly less, I have found that being ready for the worst wasn’t usually satisfied by relying on the command apparatus. Maybe one day I’ll actually sit down and try to figure out how much I had invested on myself…but I can tell you it isn’t cheap by any stretch of the imagination.

With that experience always vivid in my mind, anytime I see someone in a more important situation in need I try to see if I can use what I’ve developed to work for me to help them out. This was the case of an Army sniper in need some time ago. I had known him through a friend in NSW and was told of his situation, which to me looked fairly ugly. It looked as if he almost didn’t have much for essentials. I could be wrong, though my friend is too busy for me to make small talk of the situation. He had asked several of his friends if they could help with a list that the young sniper needed and he also added up from his experience. With that, I went down the list and tried to find some stuff that I knew was fairly essential. Suffice to say, I pitched in on a few things on the list.

Well, I ended up getting a thank you card from the father. I just put it on this blog, because it was worth mentioning…these small things. And to an extent it made me feel better about myself…

Especially after Monday night. Monday night Chip had come down and we had the TV flipped on. After Ben’s arm made a national appearance on Prison Break (he was lucky enough to be an extra while they filmed here in Dallas), I figured the next episode would continue the same scene and perhaps I’d get a glimpse of Ben’s shoe, lol. Unfortunately, I have not been following the Prison Break show and just wanted to watch it to see if I could see Ben. Eventually I’ll get the DVDs and start from the beginning.

Well, I see that Prison Break’s time slot is taken over by that Moment of Truth TV show. In a nutshell it’s that retarded lie detector show that I’ve seen trailers and commercials for and think it’s an ugly concept feeding off the sensationalist want of our current society. After flipping through some channels and being lazy, figured that since the TV was on we’d see what the ruckus was all about.

Apparently, what was in view was a special edition episode. I don’t know any different, this is my only (and last, I swear) view of the show. I had mainly a young married couple, somewhere around my age or younger. The person in the “hot seat” was the wife. Sitting nearby was her husband, her parents, her younger sister…and someone else who I don’t know about, he never really said anything and they never talked to him.

The questions that I first heard were fairly benign initially. Asking the lady if she thought her parents were proud of her or if she’d be her sister’s surrogate mother if the sister couldn’t have children. Then shortly thereafter, with the money reward higher, the questions suddenly started getting ugly.

As I understand, she has a chance between questions to throw in the towel in the game. Any money she had won at that time, she could walk away with. However, the moment she answered a question and lied…which I’m even wondering about the conditions of determining the truth…then the game ends and she loses any money that was awarded.

The questions were rough and as if it wasn’t horrid enough, she continued to choose to be asked the questions. They started off a little light, having to answer if she blamed her husband for the loss of her close friends (answer is true) and during girl’s night out with her friends if she’d remove her wedding ring to make her appear single (answer is true).

At this point, at least to me, the foundation of their marriage took a good rattling and she continued to insist on asking more questions. I also noted coming out of a commercial break, that the person asking the questions had a little PSA before the show continued and said that if he had a choice this episode wouldn’t air and to watch the episode with caution. Strange, as it turns out to be a special edition episode, tanking over Prison Break. However, watching him during the game he was either genuinely flustered by how the game was unfolding or he is one of the best actors I’ve ever seen.

The next set of questions before she could get to the next amount of money came as a surprise to her. Before that happened, another question was posed…was she in love with one of her ex-boyfriends on her wedding day (answer is true). At this time the doors opened and a guy walked through. The wife was speechless so the game host introduced him as one of her ex-boyfriends. To which the ex asked her the question that if he wanted to get back together with her if she would dump her husband. The sister hit a button that I guess allows the wife to avoid the question, but instead answer another question. That other question was also asked by the ex, which was something to the effect of if she believed that he was more ideal of being her husband vs her current husband (answer is true).

At this point, when the sister hit the button to get her sister out of it, I was disgusted to hear a large number of booing from the audience behind her. Likewise, the eruption of applause after watching a marriage practically shredded with just a few strands holding things together, the wife elects to continue.

So the next question is posed, if she has had sexual relationships with other men while married (answer is true). The next question was did she think she was a good person…and I almost fell out of my seat when she said in the end she believed she was a good person. Thankfully the Fembot Lie Detector agreed with me and registered her answer as false, causing the tormenting to cease and make her walk out of the building with no money and, even worse, an ugly future.

It was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen on TV…for those that want to give it a try, I don’t know why I’m mentioning…but a lot of network websites are doing playbacks of their shows…I’m sure it’s there. But really, why bother? While being disgusted, I felt a tinge of pain that by just merely watching it I had helped in the very obvious unraveling of two lives, in front of ones family and all over the country.

My friends and coworkers who I’ve personally talked to of this understood where I was coming from. Only two people from the nethers of the online world asked me if it was better off that they live a “fake” married life than have it out in the open to “save” what’s left of their lives before it’s too late.

I’m sorry, those two are seriously missing the picture. This is disturbing to me in a few facets. First off, you don’t need a stupid lie detector reality show to fix up anything in your life. I know of many retarded and out of nowhere arranged marriages of the past and quasi semi arranged marriages now that are working out, difficulties and all. If you need your life to be salvaged by a show like this…what am I supposed to say? If you come on to a show like this that will leave you metaphorically shredded by the power of honesty, mainly in relationships…what does this say of you as a person? In the way you expect and value relationships? Take it even beyond just relationships even, like my first question…overall as a person?

The audiences almost foaming at the mouth had me incredibly disappointed as well. I don’t really think I need to amplify with what’s already been said. I myself had a slightly hard time sleeping after watching that. However, to amplify my first concern…the last question she flopped, she answered that after all of that she still thought she was a good person. Which is really sad, I come across so many people and there are many… I’m not saying I’m the golden knight, that could be further from the truth. How I have chosen to live my way of life has it where I have to walk and thrive in the Dark of the world. So here I return to say I see people, and most are smart enough to know they come off as idiots if they talk about being saints. However, they end up giving themselves far more credit than they are even close to deserving. This lady’s answer was borderline ignorant of almost the entire episode before her and what she had laid out. It’s a shame.

Anyhow, no more lie detector shows for me. Usually the value of something I witness is determined by what I learned out of it, out of myself and the lesson in life that can be imparted. Moment of Truth had nothing of value for me, I do not relish in the sensationalism or watching people rip each other apart in that way.

However, like I mentioned in the beginning…a simple card sent to a grateful father helped me bring my tired mind back into the more relevant focus on hand and I feel I can move past the gnawing I’ve had since Monday.

Further with that, during my back and forths inside the office (it was a very busy day today), I heard repeatedly a techno song of some sort while streaming the Glenn Beck Program. The song is catchy, but it is a bizarre song. It’s from Russia, a song amounting to pretty much a girl having a boyfriend like Vladimir Putin. The group that made the song were virtual unknowns and this song has skyrocketed to the number one song in Russia. Glenn seems to every now and then find and share strange songs that get stuck in my head. One that is noteable was the Crazy Frog song about three years ago. Well, the Putin song definitely got stuck in my head…it was strange, especially the music video. Glenn of course, has his thoughts on it…those curious about the song and happen to be a Friend of mine on MySpace, I’ve thrown it on my profile for your hearing pleasure.

Well, enough for now!

UPDATE 28 FEB 2008: This got posted on Thursday…yes. You read it and felt it was written on Wednesday…yes. I never stayed awake long enough to post it yesterday evening, lol.